Learning to Accept: The Three Options We Always Have
Hey everyone! Hope you’re having a fantastic weekend.
I want to talk about a concept that significantly helped me become calmer and more positive.
The idea is that you always have three options in any circumstance - that are:
You can change it
You can leave it
You can accept it
In any situation, you always have these options.
But the worst option is sitting around, wishing you would change it but not changing it, or wishing you would leave it but not leaving and not accepting it. This is the struggle that is responsible for most of our misery, anger and unhappiness.
We do this all the time. For example, when you see someone playing music loudly on their headphones, you give them an intense glare instead of asking them to stop or simply leaving the place.
Sitting around wishing something would happen doesn’t lead to any change. It only makes you even more miserable and angrier.
So, you always have to choose one of the three options - change, leave or accept.
But, the problem is that choosing to change is often the hardest option. It takes time, courage, patience and persuasiveness.
For example, when you meet someone with a different political view, you feel compelled to change their opinion. But how often do you succeed? Almost never, unless you’re a master of persuasion. So, you can just leave it instead.
But leaving it is not always the easiest option either. For example, if you don’t like something your coworker does, it’s not like you can leave the office or quit your job.
So, the best option is often accepting it. Whenever you notice you’re judging something or someone, say to yourself in your mind: “accept”.
A few days ago, my girlfriend came back from work, looking exhausted. She kept saying how tired she was. I was tempted to choose to change it by telling her that saying she was tired wouldn’t make her feel better or change anything, hence a waste of time. But instead of changing it, I decided to accept it. And as soon as I said to myself “accept”, I felt much calmer. And I’m so glad that I took this option because saying complaining is a waste of time would have led to a massive fight!
I think learning to accept is a crucial skill to obtain mindfulness and happiness. So, the next time you notice you’re getting annoyed by something or someone, or you’re judging something, say to yourself: “accept”.
If you’d like to know more about this concept, I strongly recommend listening to Naval Ravikant’s podcast and interviews of him. Notably, his episodes in the Tim Ferriss Show are absolute gems!
Have a great weekend!
Shu
My New Roam Research Course
I was going to create a course and sell it for like $90.
But I already have a bunch of tutorials on my Youtube for free. And charging lots of money for things I already published on Youtube + a little extra sounded like a dick move.
So, what I’m going to do is to just make a free unofficial Roam course on my channel, using the videos I already have + some future videos.
Anyways, here’s the list of this week’s Roam videos.
Personal Update - I'm moving back to Japan!
After living in the UK for 5 years, I’m finally coming back to where I was born - Tokyo! I got a new job there and am excited to start a new chapter of my life.
Follow me on Instagram: @shuomi12